Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Assvertising

Repeat offender in this series, Klondike, which is owned by Unilever, whose brands (which include Axe and Dove, among others) constitute probably something like a third of the entries in this series, is running an awesome new campaign called "5 Seconds to Glory," in which someone has to put up with some HORRIBLE SHIT for five seconds to get a Klondike bar, like listen to his wife:


A white dude in his 30s sits on his couch watching TV. "New Klondike Mint Chocolate Chip bars present 5 Seconds to Glory!" exclaims a male voiceover, as the dude's white wife comes in and sits next to him on the couch. "Mark verses Actually Listening to His Wife!" says the voiceover, as she begins to talk to Mark about painting their foyer yellow. He turns toward her and makes a face of stern concentration, as a countdown clock ticks down from 5. After 5 seconds, a bell dings and he jumps up and cheers. Confetti and balloons fall and two blond women in short skirts and go-go boots run out and hand him a Klondike bar, while his wife looks on, confused. Cue the "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" jingle.

Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes.

For what is probably the nine dozenth time in seven years, I will point out that this advert, in relying on the Patriarchal (and heterocentrist) narratives about women being boring and talkative and men being inattentive and poor listeners, insults not merely women, but men, too. The ad team who designed it was comprised almost exclusively of men (the team included one woman).

It is feminists, of course, who have the terrible reputation as man-haters, but it isn't we who consider all men babies, dopes, dogs, and potential rapists. The holders of those views are the women and men who embrace, perpetuate, and trade on the narratives of the Patriarchy—which itself, after all, takes a rather unpleasantly dim view of most people.

[H/T to Deeky.]