Monday, July 11, 2011

So Much Cute! SO MUCH! (This is sarcasm.)

[Trigger warning for coercion, rape culture.]

OMG you guys, have you heard the TOTALLY CUTE story about how a marine made a YouTube video inviting actress Mila Kunis to go to the Marine Corps Ball on November 18th with him, and she totes said yes?! SO CUTE!!!

Especially the part about how she was put on the spot by her Friends With Benefits co-star Justin Timberlake during a promotional appearance for their garbage film, and Timberlake acted like he was her fucking pimp! CUTE!!!!!1!!!!!eleventy!
[W]hen FOX411 asked Kunis about the invitation over the weekend, her "Benefits" co-star, Justin Timberlake, assured Moore he was going to make it happen.

"Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? You need to do it for your country," Timberlake asked Kunis excitedly, before sending out a direct message to Moore. "I'm going to work on this, man. This needs to go down."

After questioning her publicist if she knew about the invitation, the clearly flattered 27-year-old actress agreed.

"I'll go, I'll do it for you," she said, turning to Timberlake. "Are you going to come?"

"They don't want me! They want you," Timberlake responded. "You need to do it for your country."

Kunis nodded.

"I'll do it," she confirmed.
THAT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE! It's totes adorbz how he just stepped right in to broker the deal as if Mila Kunis, Adult Woman, was his property to exchange with another man! Swoon!

And you know how much I just loooooooooooove public romantic gestures that put women on the spot to consent to some overture in front of perfect strangers by whom they'll be judged negatively if they don't say yes! Cute cubed!

But I think the CUTEST part about the whole thing is how coercing Kunis by telling her to "do it for her country" invokes the old chestnut about a solider going off to war and cajoling a girl to do it with him as a patriotic gesture, which itself was referenced in the iconic rape anthem from Grease 2, "Do It for Our Country," in which Louis tries to trick Sharon into doing it with him by luring her into a bomb shelter and pretending there's a war on.

The whole narrative of women putting out for (male) soldiers as a patriotic gesture is SO FUCKING ADORABLE I can barely stand it!

Whooooooooooooooooooooops I barfed all over this story.