Sunday, August 7, 2011

Cowboys & Indians & Aliens

The Native Americans always get the shaft even though they played an integral part in Cowboys & Aliens, Dish's mild disappointment of the summer. It was a little slow and in love with itself. The clichés were beyond predictable (boy, dead chick, dog, knife, who's an alien, key deaths), though I realize cowboys and alien movies are all about the clichés, plot contrivances and sllllooooowwww pacing. So how did I amuse myself? By wondering about Daniel Craig's diet: turkey, egg whites, water, lettuce, cigarettes. In this movie, he is pure hat-wearing lollipop--big head, little body. I wanted to give him a sandwich while also vowing to go on the same diet immediately. How Dish would love to have twig legs and no ass in chaps just for one day. Olivia Wilde, also a skinny bitch who eats nothing, is luminous on screen with those wide set eyes, flowing hair and Terminator-fashioned square jaw. Harrison Ford kvetched and scowled throughout, getting in one half smile toward the end. The most entertaining parts were whenever Daniel Craig landed a punch. He is a master of action.

What's new this Sunday? By now you must have heard how Charlie Sheen dies on Two and a Half Men. If Pam Ewing could dream an entire season of Dallas, they could always bring him back. Some telling photos of Jessica Simpson's alleged baby bump. She does look preggo though this is just another pebble in the Land of Who Cares. Forgive Dish's negativity--sinus issues.